Everyone's insecure. Well, almost everyone. I haven't evaluated everyone in the whole world, but I don't think I've ever met a single person who wasn't insecure in some way. It seems to me that any time we think about a person's strange or annoying or seemingly inexplicable behavior, it comes down to insecurity. The person who makes jokes at inappropriate times probably does it because he is uncomfortable with the serious conversation or setting. The control freak is afraid his world will fly apart if he loosens his grip. The overly permissive parents fear their children won't like them; the over-protective ones are terrified that something bad will happen. Teens feel that they don't fit in, aren't dressed right, may look foolish, may be rejected, or any host of other doubts. The boisterous person may be afraid that he won't be noticed; the shy person may worry that she will be noticed and that someone will find out how unsophisticated she really is. The argumentative type probably fears that he'll be proved wrong. The snob may not speak to you because she's afraid you won't speak back. The man who spends too much money wants to make sure everyone thinks he is highly successful. The tightwad is afraid he'll go broke. We don't trust the water or the air or the government.
Somehow believing this, that everyone's insecure, helps me to accept myself, and even more I think it helps me to accept others. After all, we all have pretty much the same struggles, don't we?
Coming soon (or not) from your Kitchen Table Psychologist: everyone's nuts!
Friday, September 20, 2013
Friday, September 6, 2013
Irene
I looked up the name Irene today, and I found that it means peace. What a fitting name for a dear friend! I have known Irene since 1980 and have almost always found her to be true to her name.
I picked her up today for a Bible study at church, and on the way she commented that there's no peace in the world. Now that's not exactly true. Of course, there is no world peace, but Irene is a wonderful testimony that believers can indeed have peace in their hearts.
Irene lives in an "adult care facility." I would call it a nursing home, but I don't think they provide actual medical care. I imagine that most of the residents are there because they are declining both mentally and physically. Different times when I have visited Irene, I've noticed that many if not most of the people there seem very much out of it mentally. Some doze in wheel chairs. Several times I have seen the same lady sound asleep with her head on the kitchen table. Another one always greets me with great enthusiasm as if she's known me for a long, long time when in fact I've never actually met her. I've often thought how hard it must be for Irene to keep her mind sharp when so many around her provide no mental stimulus at all. And yet she remains remarkably alert. What a blessing!
Irene mentioned another thing today that caused me some thinking. She remarked that as we age, families seem to drift apart. We talked about this, and my theory is that as the generations go by, families naturally grow in number, and our roles change. For example, my mother was once just mother to four children. Three of us married so that makes 7. Then she became Grandma to 10 children making 17 offspring. Nine of those 10 each now have a spouse so that is 19 plus 17. If I'm counting correctly, those 9 couples have now produced 20 children. That means that Mom is now matriarch to a family of 56 people! It's just not practical for us to go to her home for Thanksgiving!
But do you see what happens to the elderly? They become gradually isolated from the hubbub of family life, and I'm sure they feel lonely. I find that Irene has a way of seeing life clearly and honestly, and she can accept reality. At the same time she remains remarkably cheerful! This is a wonderful blessing from God and one that is not promised to any of us. But I just have to rejoice in God's blessing to Irene and to me for having her as my friend.
I picked her up today for a Bible study at church, and on the way she commented that there's no peace in the world. Now that's not exactly true. Of course, there is no world peace, but Irene is a wonderful testimony that believers can indeed have peace in their hearts.
Irene lives in an "adult care facility." I would call it a nursing home, but I don't think they provide actual medical care. I imagine that most of the residents are there because they are declining both mentally and physically. Different times when I have visited Irene, I've noticed that many if not most of the people there seem very much out of it mentally. Some doze in wheel chairs. Several times I have seen the same lady sound asleep with her head on the kitchen table. Another one always greets me with great enthusiasm as if she's known me for a long, long time when in fact I've never actually met her. I've often thought how hard it must be for Irene to keep her mind sharp when so many around her provide no mental stimulus at all. And yet she remains remarkably alert. What a blessing!
Irene mentioned another thing today that caused me some thinking. She remarked that as we age, families seem to drift apart. We talked about this, and my theory is that as the generations go by, families naturally grow in number, and our roles change. For example, my mother was once just mother to four children. Three of us married so that makes 7. Then she became Grandma to 10 children making 17 offspring. Nine of those 10 each now have a spouse so that is 19 plus 17. If I'm counting correctly, those 9 couples have now produced 20 children. That means that Mom is now matriarch to a family of 56 people! It's just not practical for us to go to her home for Thanksgiving!
But do you see what happens to the elderly? They become gradually isolated from the hubbub of family life, and I'm sure they feel lonely. I find that Irene has a way of seeing life clearly and honestly, and she can accept reality. At the same time she remains remarkably cheerful! This is a wonderful blessing from God and one that is not promised to any of us. But I just have to rejoice in God's blessing to Irene and to me for having her as my friend.
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