Grumpy Old Man

Grumpy old man...or woman. No one wants to be one. I think anyone can avoid becoming one, but you have to start NOW. Whether you are young or old, you are becoming an old person. I don't mean to discourage you, but you are aging. And unless you die young, and we all hope that doesn't happen, you will one day be an old man or woman.

I was reminded of this recently when a friend from long ago called. I'll call her Irma. It was rather late in the evening, and frankly, if I had recognized the number, I wouldn't have answered. For over an hour I listened to a sad story. Everyone, or nearly everyone, who had ever crossed her path had done her wrong from her sisters to the government and everyone in between. Social Security and Medicare don't work; doctors won't listen to her; lawyers close up shop and vanish with her money; the real estate people lied to her when they sold her the house; workmen cheat her; the family beat her out of her inheritance; churches don't visit the shut-ins any more. People in this country, who TRY to do right and make the world a better place should not be TREATED like this. AND NO ONE EVER CALLS HER. Imagine that!

It was exhausting. Then over the week-end the phone rang, and this time I did recognize the number, and I didn't answer. I listened as the answering machine recorded the sorrowful message, "Please call me." So Sunday evening when we didn't have church because of the weather, I said to myself, "I better call Irma. Set a mental timer and get off in 20 minutes." And so I did. Call her that is, but so much for the 20-minutes rule. For an hour I listened to the same old thing once again. Some of the complaints go all the way back to the 70's!

If you are feeling uncomfortable that Irma herself may read this someday, I assure you there is little chance that she ever will. But if by some freakish accident she does, well, maybe she won't call me any more. I'm feeling cold even as I write this, but it takes so much emotional energy just to listen and occasionally try to interject some note of hope!

By contrast I think of my Uncle George who is 90 years old and suffering from cancer. My mother, who is a very positive lady, told me just last night how cheery he is. "Just like always," she said.

What makes the difference? I really can't say, but I know I would much rather end up like Uncle George than like Irma. I do call  her my friend because in the past she was a real friend to me. That was more than 30 years ago, and as I recall, she was negative even in those days. It seems that the "abuse" she suffered began a long time ago. But now the complaining is much worse. I remember hearing a preacher say once that you will be the same kind of old person that you are young person--only more so! I do believe the truth of that.