No, Never, No Way

We've all known people who are chronically negative--those who hate everything and approve of nothing.

I think of a childhood friend whom I'll call Margaret. Actually, she was not a friend I chose. You might say we were friends by circumstance. I didn't realize at the time that a person can actually choose his friends. You see, Margaret and I were about the same age. Our families attended the same country church, so we were placed together in Sunday school classes and other church activities. Margaret stuck to me as if by static electricity, impossible to shake loose. She wanted to be my only friend; she was offended when I expressed a need for a little space. In fact, she was pretty much offended about a lot of things. She wanted me to spend every Sunday afternoon with her and her family. I really didn't want to do this, but every Sunday she would drag me to my mother, "Please, please, please, p-u-l-e-e-e-z? Can she come?" In my head I was secretly begging my mother to say no. Sometimes she did say no. Somehow it never occurred to me to tell Mom privately that I really did not want to spend my Sundays with Margaret, that I really didn't want to be around her at all. Instead, I just hoped every Sunday that she would not show up.

Though I was a reluctant friend, Margaret filled my mind with news. I learned from her that the Pastor and Sunday school teachers were mostly hypocrites, and furthermore, they were inferior to workers in other churches.  And didn't I know that church camp was a place where all sorts of dangers lurked, from the maggot-infested food to the showers contaminated with athlete's foot? She reported to me that the Baileys stayed home on Sunday nights to play cards instead of coming to church. She revealed that the Pastor's daughter, Annabel Kettell, with her creamy white skin and luxurious red hair, secretly smoked, and worse, she went to the skating rink on Saturday nights and flirted with boys! She made sure I noticed that the Halversons and Lowrys always sat in the same pew, and sometimes Ray Halverson would sit next to Marie Lowry. This wouldn't have been so bad, but listen to this--sometimes they (Mr. Halverson and Mrs. Lowry) would hold hands in the darkened sanctuary during missionary slides!

Now, more than 50 years later, I still remember all this gossip in vivid detail. Since I know you are wondering, I will tell you how it all looks to me now. I don't believe the Pastor and Sunday school teachers were any more hypocritical than anyone else then or now, including myself. I attended church camp for many years and did not once see a maggot in the food nor did I contract athlete's foot. I'm pretty sure the Baileys did indeed stay home on Sunday nights to play cards; I know for certain they were rarely in church. I couldn't say whether or not Annabel Kettell smoked, though I doubt it, but I personally witnessed some shameless flirting. Since I did not have night-vision goggles, I am not able to return a verdict on the alleged Halverson-Lowry tryst.

Now that I reflect on it, we have had several "Margarets" in our church over the years--porcupines who hate everything and are quite willing to use their negative quills. I recognize them from the organ by the wrinkled brow, the stubborn jaw, the disapproving look. Sometimes they grumble under their breath during services and whisper in the hallways or talk in low tones in the parking lot. Nothing is quite right. Their presence even distracts me when I listen to the sermons. "Oh, no. Margaret's not going to like this!" They have their set of unwritten rules, and we are breaking all of them. They make me feel much the way Margaret did so long ago. I just want them to GO AWAY.

Church porcupines don't usually stay forever, but they often stay a long time, wounding others with their needle-like weapons. Did you know that the word "porcupine"  means "one who rises up in anger"? I must say at this point that I'm not sure this analogy is entirely fair to the rodent version of the porcupine. According to a website entitled "7 Prickly Facts About Porcupines," they, unlike their church counterparts, are not aggressive, and they use their quills as a defense against predators. Scientists tell us the only defense against a porcupine is to avoid him.

Is avoidance the scriptural way to deal with negative people? I now believe we should do what I should have done all those years ago. We should tell them that we don't want to hear it, and we should go to our Heavenly Parent and tell Him the truth. As children, we as individuals have very little control over our circumstances. As adults, we have more choices, but sometimes only the Father can solve our problems. What does the Bible say about all this?

Solomon had some sage comments on this and six other things God hates. "Hates" is a strong word when applied to God Himself. Yet Proverbs 6 tells us, These six things doth the Lord hate: yea, seven are an abomination unto him: A proud look, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood, An heart that deviseth wicked imaginations, feet that be swift in running to mischief, A false witness that speaketh lies, and he that soweth discord among brethren. Wow! Margaret was guilty of nearly all  these, and I was not far behind by listening to it!

Getting back to the scripture, God reminds us of something similar in the New Testament, just in case we missed it in the Old. If any man teach otherwise, and consent not to wholesome words, even the words of our Lord Jesus Christ, and to the doctrine which is according to godliness; He is proud, knowing nothing, but doting about questions and strifes of words, whereof cometh envy, strife, railings, evil surmising, Perverse disputings of men of corrupt minds, and destitute of the truth, supposing that gain is godliness: from such withdraw thyself. 1 Timothy 6:3-5

I can safely conclude that when we encounter those porcupines, as we most surely will, we must realize that this is behavior that God hates, and we must duly withdraw ourselves from them.